Archive for January, 2011
“The belief about or picture of the future”, that is the dictionary definition of an expectation. I hate my birthdays. As my birthday approaches, every year, unfailingly, I feel the child in me wanting to celebrate the birthday I feel I never had. I want lots of friends and lots of candy! I want loads of (eggless) chocolate cake, and (eggless) ice cream! I want all
my friends getting along and having incredible much fun together… I really do not mind getting old, really! Through the years that expectation of a perfect birthday has not been fulfilled, maybe close in many years, but never to my expectation. And so it happens with so many things in my life, daily and long term… I experience, discover, and provoke disappointment in others from unmet expectations.
If we apply the Vedic concept of the innumerable lives we have lived, then the chances of us experiencing this frustration is uncountable. Of those uncountable times, how many I have been the cause? In my case, probably, more than your average soul. Therefore, it is easy to lose faith and find blame on self or others, because the pain caused and the pain felt is real. However, how many times we can go through the same process of expectations and disappointments? Well, as many times as we need to – truly. There is a lesson to be learned. I know for me, the lesson relies on love, what is it to really love?
Every time I rely on the transitory world, the result will be transitory. If I am expecting this job will make me happy, or the new relationship, or my newest car, then, most likely it will eventually result in disappointment. My job will end, and so will my car, so how can I be truly happy? Happiness and love are absolutes.
As I focus my eyes on a particular experience or circumstance, or even an individual, most likely it will result in transitory happiness and eventual disappointment. Love and eternal happiness are only found in permanent things. Happiness and love are absolutes. The only permanent aspect of our lives is the spirit. Thus relying on spiritual experiences and cultivating them, will be the best source (and only true source), in my experience of love and happiness.
As I step on my mat, all I ask is that I be present to the experience of opening my heart to the Divine Love around me. I ask that I can quiet down my expectations of the world, and learn to accept love without judgment. I hope I awaken bhakti or Awareness of Divine Love.