Prem Mandir, Vrindavan, India

convey these feelings. In only a few days, we are, once again, on our way to the mystical spiritual lands of India. It just hit me last night, after our satsang (group mediation)that we are visiting the inauguration of Prem Mandir(The Temple of Love) in Vrindavan, India.

I remember at the age of 6 or so, I ran downstairs, with the curiosity and determination a child can have, I walked into my loving father’s study, where he was buried in books and the reading of philosophy and positive thinking. With the deepest of desperations, I asked, “Dad, what is Love?”. I do not remember his answer; I do remember and do know, however, my search since. There has been plenty of moments of pain and deceit, many moments of crying myself to sleep. There have been deep moments of suffering. I have looked in many places for love and happiness, even in the most unlikely places. I did find moments, sparks, glimpses of what that means; none lasting or really satisfactory – I always knew there had to be more. The disappointments led to deeper discouragement and frustration, maybe anger. I gave up many times.

I was hearing of a student’s reflection on how difficult the practice of hatha yoga has become. At the beginning yoga was (arguably) an easy, fun, enjoyable “light” work out. But to many of us the more we become present and stay in asana, the deeper we connect. Is that something I am prepared to do? Yoga is indeed simple, though not an easy task. The more we pay attention, we find loads of thoughts and emotions. For many of us it is easier to stop, avoid, and/or look away. It is a very common reaction. I do it all the time, I do know! Through my many years of practice, I realize now it has nothing to do with that movement, that physical pain and discomfort, or frustration. It has little to do with my hips or my shoulder, or my knee. The physical body, as we have heard many times, is more than a structure of movement. The hands are to hold things, but also to let them go. The chest is to protect, but also to open up the heart and emotions. The legs and hips are the means of motion, movement in our lives, or to simply stand in place, grounded.

So, our physical yoga practice is exactly that, a practice of rediscovery, re-membering of who we are. The process of discovery is never easy. The path is full of ups and downs. We have given up uncountable times, as the yoga philosophy teaches, for uncountable (truly uncountable!) lifetimes. How are we to change in one class, or one posture, or in one month, or one year, or a lifetime? We do change, but maybe in ways we do not realize or expect now. Every breath done in consciousness changes something inside of us, every time. The questions is, are we able to sustain it? Are we able to persevere and find encouragement? Are we able to maintain focus? The is not a right or wrong answer, simple our sadhana (practice) is what matters. Some days are better than others. Some (many) days not so good. That is the nature of our imperfection, though we may choose to place blame outwardly.

So, what is the loving thing to do? What is Love? Where am I today in my trying to understand the incomprehensible? I do not understand intellectually anything more than when I was 6 in my dad’s study. Although, I know my heart has experience the incomprehensible through practice and perseverance. My heart has been graced with experiences of Love, as I know we all have. To keep those loving feelings present it takes perseverance, patience, discipline, remembrance, and know there is not an only way or only one time. It took me 40 years of experiences to view Love as a daily action, rather than the misconceived romantic ideal.

Yoga means connection, is the path of search for the purpose of our physical experience, our body as a temple of our spirit, the temple or instrument to find Love, Divine Love.

As I understand these ideas and listen to them in my head, I can see how it all connects. We try so hard all the time to do our best. We have so many hopes and expectations and desires about the outcomes of our actions. Yes, I do this all the time. I am always hopeful that this idea or thought or action might provoke change in this or the other person or situation. I guess there is nothing wrong is wishing the best to the people we love. However, these expectations do not have to turn into attachment. Let them be. The consequences of a deep breath we hope are to trigger that deep energy inside of us, and to open the alveoli, to remove impurities from the metabolites of our cellular respiration, etc. The subtle difference is if we sit and expect, desire, attach our thoughts to that result, and we wait. Sometimes it happens, sometimes it does not. Either way, it is ok. The result is not ours to control. There are many forces that will act and affect on the result of our actions. In the Bhagavat Gita Krishna tells Arjuna (and to us all through him) that we should always do our duty, and offer our results to the Divine.

Trust and Surrender

As I reflect on this, I can think of so many times that I am not even focused on the now, but on the reactions, the effect of my actions. It is so much simpler (not always easier) to be present, to do and live this moment the best I can. The fruit of my actions will happen. I will learn as I evaluate the reactions, and do this better next time. There are plenty examples where my actions have brought undesired reactions to others. Many times it is very hurtful and difficult to see this. All I can do is try to stay humble, and try my best again. I guess, it is another lesson learned from surrendering in yoga.

It is simpler to concentrate in the now, to do our best in the moment. Just listen, be attentive, do your best in this asana. The fruit of our actions is not up to us. The intent of our action is.

From murky waters, not of murky waters

The Lotus flower is the national flower of India, as mystical as it is beautiful. Many consider this flower to be sacred, however, beyond sacred it is a powerful metaphor. The lotus can be a symbol of beauty and purity, and Divine Energy, with mesmerizing presence, anyone gets absorbed by it.

It is impossible not to evoke emotions of softness and peacefulness when looking at a lotus flower. The flower grows usually in murky ponds. One of the unique characteristics of this flower making it different from the water lilies, is that the lotus leaves grows above the water surface. The leaves of the lotus are called emergent leaves. Truly a lesson in itself.

We constantly talk in yoga about the invasion of the world around us into the world inside of us. Many times, I know I struggle with the pull and the “distractions” of the senses. It is not easy for me to maintain that constant focus in my internal remembrance of the Divine Love. Yoga also teaches us that we have seven centers of energy called chakras. These start from the tailbone area, go through the heart, the middle chakra, and finish with the crown chakra at the top of our head. The crown chakra is symbolized a lotus flower of one thousand petals.

It is comforting to think of the lotus flower to help find and maintain that balance in our lives. The flower grows, emerges, feeds, and lives of the murky water. Eventually, a beautiful delicate water emerges, with such splendor, and from an unsuspected origin. In the same way, our energy rises up, through our spine, from the lower chakras to the higher chakras, ending in the crown chakra, with the desire of the ultimate realization, God Realization.

The lesson seems simple, though no easy. We have a body, the senses, the external world, to help us. it is our job to emerge, and rise above. Our intent might be to live like the lotus flower, coming from the world, but not of the world. Our meditations may be guided by the image of a lotus flower. The soft colors, the beautiful petals, the impressive flower that opens searching, looking upwards, for that Divine Love. Its beauty does not come from the flower itself, but from its intent – reach above, humbly.

Street action in Sangli

my friends getting along and having incredible much fun together… I really do not mind getting old, really! Through the years that expectation of a perfect birthday has not been fulfilled, maybe close in many years, but never to my expectation. And so it happens with so many things in my life, daily and long term… I experience, discover, and provoke disappointment in others from unmet expectations.

If we apply the Vedic concept of the innumerable lives we have lived, then the chances of us experiencing this frustration is uncountable. Of those uncountable times, how many I have been the cause? In my case, probably, more than your average soul. Therefore, it is easy to lose faith and find blame on self or others, because the pain caused and the pain felt is real. However, how many times we can go through the same process of expectations and disappointments? Well, as many times as we need to – truly. There is a lesson to be learned. I know for me, the lesson relies on love, what is it to really love?

Every time I rely on the transitory world, the result will be transitory. If I am expecting this job will make me happy, or the new relationship, or my newest car, then, most likely it will eventually result in disappointment. My job will end, and so will my car, so how can I be truly happy? Happiness and love are absolutes.

As I focus my eyes on a particular experience or circumstance, or even an individual, most likely it will result in transitory happiness and eventual disappointment. Love and eternal happiness are only found in permanent things. Happiness and love are absolutes. The only permanent aspect of our lives is the spirit. Thus relying on spiritual experiences and cultivating them, will be the best source (and only true source), in my experience of love and happiness.

As I step on my mat, all I ask is that I be present to the experience of opening my heart to the Divine Love around me. I ask that I can quiet down my expectations of the world, and learn to accept love without judgment. I hope I awaken bhakti or Awareness of Divine Love.

At first it looks simple enough. You bend over as if in uttanasana. You extend one leg behind and hold it there while balancing on the other. Then comes the tricky part: As you balance on one leg, you extend you arms to the left and right while bending in the extended leg closer to your hip AND bending down on the other leg as well. Done right it looks like an albatross. As for my asana, thankfully, I have no where to check– The yogi next to me blocks the mirror-I have only my inner feeling and thigh pain to use for assessment. How good am I at the Albatross pose? Ask my friend in front. She well tell you.

I plan to learn more about yoga poses and their names. That way I can write more accurately about our practice. I enjoy talking about the periphery of yoga–the essence minus the posture-such as feelings, peaceful moments, meditation, the challenge of living harmoniously: Over and over I have made connections with yoga as it manifests outside the class. At this point I want to refocus on asana. The reason being, the very basic physical movement sometimes releases a tide of hubris. One day, a couple of weeks ago, I experienced the mind body connection yoga makes. We were in the middle of the class and I was having trouble concentrating- no surprise. Suddenly during a hip rotation a knot came untied. I could feel the potent release of whatever it was I was holding– inside the tissue, inside my heart inside my brain. Instantly a change of state came over me and stuck with me throughout the rest of the class all the way to the drive home.

That’s why I want to study what we do. I want to learn why and how the body yields its own healing to the heart and mind. If my elbow, my knee, my shoulder, my thigh, my skin looks no different, why do I feel so much better? Where does this” bettering” start? I would like to know, and I plan to find out.

A strong armor in a dark field.

The most amazing things happen unasked, like you receive a gift personalized to your very needs. Outside the raucous of communication, someone asks and someone gives without so much as leaving a sound byte in the air. How does this happen?

In our yoga class, traditional Hatha yoga sits along side a modern genteel approach: Modify the pose; Find what your body will allow today; Move do not stay stuck. Such is the language that informs us again and again that “less is more in yoga.” This means that the feeblest of our twists and extensions can leave us feeling invigorated, if only we center our attention to the concept of “ahimsa,” non violence(Do not beat a performance out of your body. Cherish what it can already do today).

This incredible language that weaves the heart, mind, body, and soul of every class, belongs to the intuitive strengths of our yoga teacher, Rafael. This intuitive strength leaves us with that incredible gift exactly tailored to our personal wish. In other words, we receive the kind of class we want for that day.

That single transforming pose enters our practice as if an invisible guiding hand had steered our wish toward fulfillment automatically, magically, without fanfare.

That happened today.I walked in class with an innate need to stretch my lower back, especially that left hip which had borne some sharp pain the previous evening. And what pose should we start off with?–Piegon pose, Bridge pose, variations of the Bow pose and other transitional forms of leg/hip stretches. In the middle of the class I realized the working wonder of this Yoga magic: changing, healing, cleansing one part at a time, one student at a time, one wish at a time. My wish was its command.

That’s how this Yoga gives, fulfills. One can only wonder: How does it happen?

Back home, some things were simply taken for granted. Like lighting the small silver lamp, “samai” in our tiny, non-ornate altar. How ornate could it get in the cramped match box style “flat” in Mumbai? Still, mother would usually leave whatever she was doing to take care of the chief twilight business- go brighten the wall altar in our kitchen and invite goddess Laxmi’s auspicious presence. Laxmi followed the footsteps of the incoming light, however small, knocking only on those doors that had illumined Laxmi’s path with the first welcoming light of the evening hours. The rest, those that had forgotten to light the “samai,” she would dutifully forget to visit.

Lighting the “diwa” always involved chanting the evening prayers– invocations to goddess Laxmi to enter the abode and bless the household with health, wealth, and happiness. One line says, “Since I bow to the brilliant flame of this light, destroy all the ‘enemy tendencies’ that reside within.” Without ever paying much attention to the significance of this small daily practice in our childhood, the memories of that lit altar stay with me to this day. There is something to be said about oil lamps or candles and how miraculously they change the energy of a room. The bright lit candles along the church pews at a friends evening wedding, many years ago, stirred similar feelings of quiet, tranquil beauty. Acknowledging light, and then ushering it in, through the gentle resolute way of lighting a lamp or a candle during the fading hours of the day keep me linked to the chain of this long line of tradition that continues to hold meaning for me in ageless, boundless ways.

I remember Grandma’s hands joined quickly in prayer, even as her eyes shut instantly, just as soon as someone flicked on the only light switch of her living room. Always amused to see this programmed reaction, I now wish for the same depth of feeling and gratitude as the unfailing devotion of this resolute woman. She did not let by a single turn of the light, without acknowledging her nod to its divine presence. That’s why we light the evening lamp in our house, because of my mother and grandmother and all our combined families put together so that we too may acknowledge the power of light over the presence of darkness, wherever we are.

Our community

The Devanand yoga center, is not a regular place for yoga, it is truly a community. Through the many years of the yoga center’s existence, the center has been dedicated to provide opportunity to participate in what a yoga commune we understand it to be. We are so grateful.

People do not seem to understand what it means when we explain this center to be a non-profit center. Our culture many times trains us is disbelieve and/or distrust. We truly are a group of individuals that wants to offer an opportunity to experience yoga non-commercially. We desire of this yoga center to be very personal. We do want the best, the most individually significant experience for each present. We do not care who the practitioner is, young, wise, in shape physically or spiritually, skin color, language, religion. We are interested in the REAL you. We want to really offer the opportunity for each to experience their true identity, our real Ego. We want to share what we have learned, and continue to learn. We want to continue to grow together, in support of each other. We understand this center is not for all. We are looking for that special person that is looking for “that” experience, that personal experience, through our body and mind, to remember our spirit.

In the Devanand yoga center we try so hard to bring an honest sentiment of caring and love to each activity of the center. We try not create expectations, because many times they bring disappointment. However, we always put our heart and soul when we are there. Sometimes it is more successful than others, and it is ok that way too. We will keep practicing…

We do think back on the many eyes, and voices, and hearts we have seen. We are so humbled to think back of all these years of seva, service for the love of others. This is our motivation to see the thousands of people that we have touched, and that have touched our souls.

Our only prayer is to continue to have the strength and clarity of mind to maintaining this space open, our center, your center. You are the special people that make this a special place. We only hope for the future; we gain motivation from the past; we want to serve in the present!

Namasté!

Yogini, writer/poet, teacher, irreplaceable friend!

I wish I had more to give you. Everyday, you offer me a way to silence my shuffle. God knows where this urban unrest comes from? Yet, in the soft amber light of the glowing candles we pause. Closing eyes is an option we can all take sometime. But what about the endless sinister suggestions that keep brewing a channel right down my middle? I am still rendering a new stop sign to that battle. “Give up already, I tell myself.” “No more tracking life, I admonish.” But I must keep admonishing myself. All the time.

Yesterday, your face looked beet root red. I concentrated on the trail of music, your brand of notes that lead us forward, and thought every new beginning made sense. For every new beginning makes a silent restoration of the past. Thus I paid homage to every ending note and stayed energized through every commencement. It would sure anatomize a new life. So when I glanced at your face and saw the flash of color spread across its horizon my hand rose tall and my arm lifted out from right underneath where will beats indifference. There I found my mystery buddy who awoke and responded to your daring happiness every time you raised or lowered the melody.

Just wanted to say I was there; I harmonized despite the battle and you showed mercy in flicking my flaws. Swept off my feet shall I say, by this Yoga!