Archive for the ‘Yoga’ Category

Inspiration. Don’t we all need to be inspired by something to be able to create and be moved to do. We all need that drive inside of us that awakens us. We all would like to look at life inspired, every day. We all have experienced this at one moment or another in our lives. We all have been moved to action by an incredible song, speech, story, a book, a personal hero, an experience in life.

We all have our heroes and moments and places we go for inspiration. Although, there is always that moment where we do not seem to find inspiration. I know I have been in places where I need that extra push, and do not find my Self. It is a lonely and difficult place to be. Life at that moment seems that sinks in altogether and at once. All loses perspective, and the world loses its natural brightness. Only then is when we are able to look inside and ask…humbly. Those “dark” moments are the most important movements in our lives, because from that place is when we are prone to grow, to change.

All great saints in history have had those moments. Imagine what about us simple mortals! St. Francis of Assisi called those his dark nights. The great Queen Kunti, from the Hindu tradition, used to pray to Krishna that He brought her moments on difficulty, because those were the only times she would sincerely not forget Him. So those dark nights are not a negative thing, they are our inspiration too.

Queen Kunti with Sun God Surya

Inspired, as I have heard from the author and teacher Wayne Dyer is to be “in-spirit”. We all need to remember our spirit. And it does not matter what we call that spirit, atman, soul, energy, chi. We all need to reconnect to that constantly. We do forget that we are a soul living the experience in this body. It is easier to identify ourselves with our limited exterior. We think we are our body, jobs, our bank account, our thoughts. Those are limited sources of inspiration. We have to remember, to re-member, or become members again, to reconnect to our spiritual source. There lies the source of our inspiration. Meditation, prayer, breath, silence, contemplation, etc., all these are tools to reconnect. Yoga has been the inspiration of my life, and still is. It is my moving meditation, my communication with my atman. It is through this practice that I find my inspiration to be of service to others. Be inspired…do not forget.

God doesn’t require us to succeed; he only requires that you try.
Mother Teresa

Another life lesson. We are fully engaged in making the website very interactive. All of the sudden we realized how much our expectations may always lead into disappointment. We had put all of our efforts in creating the best website for our students. We had worked so much in updating it daily, increased the volume of entries, updated the calendar, etc. Then, all of the sudden the site goes down and we are left dangling. It is disappointing to think of all the people that we know come to visit and read our entries. It may lead into frustration when we things are not under our control. But, when are they, really?

Haven’t we all experienced the same feelings?  Is this common or natural? I know even coming to the teach a yoga class with the expectation in my mind that all students come to experience the perfect class. Boy! That is a heavy burden to carry. I am not always there, emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually. It is always a very heavy responsibility on our shoulders when we have one of the 20 students not have a great class… It is hard to be in the moment and not fall in the trap of the false ego. It is hard to stay away from my own expectations, even the expectation to be of service to everyone. It is impossible to be all that all the time. What is it one to do?

Easier said than done. All I can do is our best every time. To show up in every circumstance, just to be there, and be opened and observant to what comes up in every breath. It is not meant to be pretty all the time. It is not meant to be easy all the time. It is not meant to make us look away, but look into. That is to practice yoga.

Perfection is an unattainable concept in this world. Perfection is a spiritual quality. We do experience glimpses of it, but they do not last here. They entangle us enough to make us believe we need more of this, our drug. That is the concept of maya in yoga. We think we need more things, another puff of a cigarette, another drink, another job title, another relationship, another drop of happiness. We are all thirsty for happiness and love.

We are in the process of making our lives more spiritual, and we will miss the mark, more often than not. Compassion and truthfulness have to be close companions. These are painful qualities that are best first applied to our own selves.

If we find ourselves so engulfed in our own ego, then love others. Service to others is the best way to make love practical. We will forget that we are or not perfect, what we lack or where we fall short. There are so many people in need around who need us. We will then realize our connectivity with others – we are nor alone. Maybe the lesson is to know that we are here together for one purpose alone, to learn to love God. Just another life lesson.

Things don’t have to be difficult to be worthwhile. What better place to learn this wisdom than in a yoga class? Anyone who attended class this past Wednesday might recall the ease with which we got into Uttanasana, not in the usual way of stretching out and bending forward from the waist, but in the reverse: Sitting down and balancing on our toes, we slowly raised an already supine waist, and found that our hands had got where they needed to be, effortlessly. I thoroughly enjoyed this delicious breeze of an extension as if I’d arrived there on a magic carpet. Usually I have to try so hard with any asana, that this easy breezy discovery of a forward bend made perfect joyful sense. Of course, we followed up with some lovely planks. Yet this feel good, rewarding beginning felt super great. Thank you so much. May we have more of these, a taste of dessert right before the actual meal?

As scary as it is sometimes to try something new, I think it is all about showing up.  After being in the “Fun with the Fundamentals” class this week, something just got stuck in my mind.  It is important to simply show up how you are, and trust.

The act of coming to yoga class, with all these different moves, and words, and pictures, the Sanskrit, the breath, it is so much to take in.  How intimidating this all can be!  It is very unsettling to have all new things coming in our direction.  So many things come to my mind when this happens.  Our first instinct is to build our protective walls, they have worked for so many years, and they certainly will work now.  Although, I question if this is the way we grow?

How much do we miss in our lives from not jumping in?  What are the consequences that we are so afraid of?  Is it losing something of us in the process? Or is it simply leaving our comfort zone.  Much of that is true for me.  However, I end always jumping in.  There are these preset rules that we have made in our mind that sometimes paralyzes us – I know it does me.  It is comforting to know that I can just show up as I am.  I do not have to change who I am, and do not have to add or subtract anything to the experience.  All I need is to enter with that wonder and fascination of a new opportunity.

Yoga has a way to teach us simple things of ourselves.  It is beautiful to see how much yoga opens people’s hearts.  It is amazing to see inside their souls.  It is there that I learn so much, and cannot help them but to immediately love them.  I am always in awe to discover strong, powerful people, with such great loving intentions for their lives and others. We find this in our center, within our practice, in and out of the mat.  We learn to support each other, and learn to become a community.  We learn to care for each other.

This is spiritual live.  This is the basics of our training in this worldly experience to learn to love selflessly.  And yoga is just a tool to rediscover THAT indescribable strength inside each of us.  It is us who open that door to make it all possible.  When I take one step towards God, God takes one thousand steps in our direction.  It is my experience.

It is amazing to see how everyone’s energy affect a yoga class. From an instructor’s perspective it is very nice to see the mind being so clearly affected by the body and breath. Time after time I see people being affected by taking the time to celebrate their connection to their physical body. I am affected by my breath and physical body.

I do not know if it is just reflexes, or a second nature from years of practice. We sat down after class and talked about with one student after class about ujjayi pranayama (breathing). This is the breath that sounds like “Darth Vader”. This breath consists of closing the back of the throat, with lips touching, mouth closed, and feel the air swirling in the mount and back of throat, as in a yawn. The simple sound of the breath and the focusing the mind into the “feeling it”, creates this intense liberating feeling inside out.  The mind has no other choice than to listen in. The senses quiet down, the body intensifies its energy and vitality. The whole system starts bringing energy from the abdomen upwards. This brings attention to the abdominal cavity and its muscles, its breath, its own bandha in the first chakra, in the pelvic area.

As I was explaining this, my entire body went into a sense of meditation and introspection. It was amazing to see how a breath may affect the intensity of our own energy. It was almost like opening a door, and an invitation to the depth of my body. 

Yoga does that for me. Makes my body react in such an intense sense of looking in.  What I find is amazing, ok, most of the time. If I simply let my self look into paramatman, the Divine waiting to be rediscovered in us. It is not us, it is that connection to the Divine living inside. It is that section of us that we recognize and acknowledge in a namaste. This only makes me humble to see that when we listen in, we can hear God inside. When we sit down, with devotion, with gratitude and love, we can feel the Divine inside. Not because He/She is inside of us, but because He/She is also inside of us. Many times, we say in class that yoga is moving meditation. Yoga really gives us chance to people that have so much going outwardly, to use the body. The body is honored through each move, each pose, each breath, as a temple for the spirit. This way we can connect to the Divine also living inside of each of us. That I see in every face after class…

“Rain is purifying. Rain is a blessing from God.”  I was reminded in class this week on the words of Swami Devanand. Like a seed, those wise words have stayed and grown with my heart. Almost 20 years later, I am reminded beyond the words, but through the energy and intent, that all we need to do is remember and never forget Gratitude and Love.

Yoga has affected so many aspects of my life. I look back and realize the beautiful experiences it has brought to me, so undeservingly. I have traveled many places, met many saintly people, practiced spiritual retreats, shed many tears of joy, and celebrated spiritual friendships. Last week, I was reminded of one of my first retreats with Swami Guru Devanand in the heart of the island of Dominican Republic.  I traveled to the mountains, within the heart of the island. The retreat was in one of the most magnificent locations, with so much green, so many sounds, such breath taking views. Furthermore, it also was very rustic lodging, no solid food, lemonades with honey, showers at 3:30am to be ready for our 10 hours of daily meditation. Seven days to simply be with oneself, in complete silence, with no books or distractions, except being with oneself.

I do remember struggling through the meditations, my knees reminding me constantly their need of attention, and my mind writing the most decadent cooking book. I cannot say it was easy. I cannot say it was pleasurable. I do remember clearly a midmorning meditation when the skies broke loose. The rain poured over the tin roof in the designated meditation hall. My most intricate pizza recipe was interrupted, and I had to listen. For the first time I had to pay attention, away from my thoughts and my struggle to maintain the presence of my mantra. In that moment I was awoken by the incredible force of nature. God had to remind me to pay attention. He wanted me present in the sounds and the silence, to the struggle and to the embrace, the hunger and the fulfillment, to the void and the love. I was able to surrender and listen to my heart.

I step onto my mat every day, and I am reminded of the sacredness of every breath, of every movement, of my surrendering mind (many times not so much!). I am even more humbled and awed at the yoga center we share. This center goes beyond individuals. This center instructs and loves me at the same time. I am especially touched to see the sincerity of the 1 (or 28 students) in class. I feel all the yogis around the world that had come through and have left their heart and vibrant energy with us. Their experiences live in it, and so their opened hearts; the loving intent of so many is still present. I am grateful to all of you. I am grateful to God for talking through the rain.

Thank you!

A picture is worth a thousand words. Without warning it will incite your inner child. Often, if you leave your mental post, it will talk to your heart. One such painting left me spell bound. In the November 2009 issue of Yoga Journal (p.67), a quiet Shiva stands out in earth sky tones and reminds me of the mud of India. Like the sweet simplicity of crayons, or the joy of tracing Devnagari letters in chalk, it transported a sense of beauty I could not resist. I wondered why. Why did these colors produce such a profound sense of oneness in me? It might be that the artist had used a palette straight out of my childhood, the water colors unfolding with the same flow of when we were children, when we loved all those shades inside a single box of paint and dipped freely in them without worry. A child paints for the fun of trying out how small round pigments will look pressed out against an impression of sky, an impression of water, an impression of a shape form or figure. In this artist’s rendition of Shiva, a similar style invokes a childlike joy. Shiva, balancing in Hastasana, gazes out at his world from his wondrous Prakruti. Without discrimination the mountains, hills, water, and the supreme Yogi express themselves playfully, with no consciousness of right or wrong, only the feeling of joy for the vision of paint, and a fresh new shade. Thus love rolls out of the innocent imagination of the maker, without an intermediary of thought or judgment, only the intense feeling, ‘rasa’ for manifestation. Like childhood paint running over the plastic rims, the magentas, yellows, blues, and reds in this painting stream out of the body of Shiva into surrounding nature, infused with the artist’s own craving for beauty- for those steep undulating brush strokes of his/her inner child. Then as slender hands rise up to touch the sky, Shiva pulls out an oversized red gold flower like it were the whole point of creation- that God manifests himself and then offers his awesome gift to mankind, so that mankind may gaze, even as God gazes back, in praise and gratitude.

Dancing Shiva

That is why this painting moved me so much, its colors still wet to my touch and the more I smudged it, the better it got. From the brilliant petals to the delicate saffron folds of fabric, the picture initiated a desire to want some of that bright blue sparkle for myself, to rub off on me from touching it and drinking its beauty again and again- to become, you know, as colorful and sublime as the fluid invitation of Shiva.

You may find Vidula teaching in Katy ISD, cooking delicious food, teaching the cooking class on Nov 7, or chating beautiful kritana at the center.

Mother Vidula, yogini of the months!!

The yoga spirit is up, alive, and running. What with Chaturanga dandasana how can it not? One has no time to be complaining as one balances with the last breath to go up and then bear down on the arms. When one has puny forearms, one can only fight with all one has. But I like these fights in the mind, what I call the other rigor on the mat. On the one hand, the physicality of the pose itself is a challenge, on the other hand the mind can help and hinder with the progress. I remember days in the class, four years ago, when I couldn’t get out any sooner. Time moved too slowly for me, as I half heartedly attempted 50% of what most people could do with so much ease. All around me, I had these unbelievable bodies who could reach out and stretch and twist and bend with incredible grace and perfection. Then there was the other kind of resistance to battle, the mental force that kept denying the possibilities that, perhaps, with a little bit of acceptance and opening I could discard the boundaries I had so carefully constructed for myself. Everyday I fought with familiar armor: the long drive, the long hours, the meal adjustments, and that mother of all excuses, maternal guilt that came in so handy when I needed it. So, if nothing else, my teenage children needed me to be home if only to bore them with my company. Then one day, these false rationales slipped away like a layer of onion skin, or rotten lettuce that one doesn’t need any more ( Maybe that’s a bad analogy. But you get the point.) Down with joint pain, like the kind I had never experienced before, a little voice inside me told me to go do yoga and offer my pain and resistance to my practice. This time following this intuition was easy as I had brought my heart and will to it. That was in March. Today, in August, I am attending class 5 days a week, and feeling so much better for it. Actually, to say that yoga is making a difference sounds like something of cliche. It has been said before. But, what can you say about simple truths? When they become a part of your experience, you have to say them one more time. For, that one more time is your life.

Anyway, Monday class was thriving with all our combined energy. It was so amazing to see everyone do Hastasana en route to doing other more complex poses. Even though I normally close my eyes when we start our hatha yoga, (for obvious reasons. I want to surround myself with my own bliss that my pose is perfect, for myself) I sneaked a look around me and the impact of rows and rows of synchronized hastasanas was dazzling to the sight. So much positive movement going on here, and hey, I was a part of that movement- not simply a side line witness but involved as involved as one can be- and fully there.

How many times with have heard, “things come at their perfect timing?”  Well, they do.  The yoga center has been through so many phases in its development.  We have gone through so many enlivening experiences in the 18 years or so since its inception.  And one thing we have learned, it is that all the valuable experiences have come at their own timing, their perfect timing.